Essentials

I have been noticing in the comment sections of many of the major Liberal blogs a major resurgence of the liberal dumbass. Driven underground during the Bush ascendance, they seem to be crawling out of the woodwork again. I say this as a Democrat and someone most rightwards would describe as a Liberal, but I write to you today to encourage you to help police your own. First let's get past the polemics and admit that though there are many liberal geniuses, and the right are definitely dumber per capita, there are plenty of liberal dumbasses. These are people who can often be right, but are right by accident of birth or chance rather than by using mental faculties which may not exist at all.

Before I continue, let me remind you intelligent Liberals of what Liberal dumbasses have done for the movement:

• Spoiled perfectly dignified demonstrations with displays of rank and unoriginal exhibitionism and ending up being the only part of the demonstration that ends up on the news that evening, lending an air of wacko to the proceedings.

• Cried wolf so many times about racism and sexism that nobody pays attention to them anymore, making racism and sexism now almost acceptable on the broadcast media and leaving the country ripe for the Rush Limbaughs and Ann Coulters of the world.

• Bought or made every frivolous, staged complaint about racism or sexism while ignoring real problems.

• Tried to import Communist sympathies into the Democratic Party, posing on NVA tanks, wearing Che T-shirts, and wearing hammer-and-sickle pins.

• Transformed whole English departments into radical monocultures, sidelining writing and critical-thinking skills in favor of pushing ideology, driving graduate students who actually care about the English language and its literature to comp. rhet. or comparative lit, and minting millions of fresh, shiny new Republicans with each section of Freshman Composition they taught. (I guess you can tell what I majored in.)

• Were just really, really dumb.

We need to differentiate ourselves as much from the Republicans as we can. One of the strategies I suggest is to not remain loyal to those undesirables we don't really want representing the Democratic party. Unquestioning loyalty has been the undoing of the Republican party. However, there are many among us whom we seem to remain loyal to that don't really help us any when it comes to public opinion. We have a big tent, true, and that is good, but maybe we need a smaller tent off to the side and out of view of the cameras. We love to blame the GOP for everything, but who exactly is responsible for the GOP's great comeback during the Gingrich/Bush years? I blame us, for celebrating every dumbass among us. Instead, I think we should let it be known what we think, and for this it will be necessary to think something first.

If someone shows up to a liberal demonstration with a costume, an exposed naughty bit, or any Communist gear, please tell them to go have their own protest elsewhere. We do not have to welcome exhibitionistic dumbasses. This may not work, but perhaps it will discourage them.

The next one has to do with the feminazis and PC police. If a liberal ever says anything about a white person or man that one could not get away with saying about a black woman, please reprimand that person. For instance, here is a model exchange.

Andrea Dworkin: Only when manhood is dead - and it will perish when ravaged femininity no longer sustains it - only then will we know what it is to be free.

Intelligent Liberal: I find your comments sexually abusive to my six-year-old son here, so get out of my fucking house, ~~bitch.~~

You know, it's a funny thing, but Andrea Dworkin had great influence on the US government's approach to porn legislation. Here is a very interesting discussion I found here. So, the next time some ~~feminazi~~ gender feminist tells you something innocuous is inppropriate, or that she is not feeling safe around you, or that you are the reason women get raped, tell her the facts of the matter: She is a dumbass. Note: For all you dumbasses who think I just called all feminists dumbasses, you are a dumbass, dumbass.

And another thing. Democrats are not Communists. Communists are not Democrats. Communists are Communists. Democrats are Democrats. So, when you see Democrats at a Democratic event wearing Communist gear, like Che shirts or hammers and sickles, tell them they must be at the wrong meeting. Communist tyranny was responsible for the virtual slavery and actual deaths of huge numbers of people. Regardless of Che being a formidable leader and the subject of a friendly Hollywood movie, he was in favor of a nuclear first strike against the US. So, no, Communists are not nice guys. Nobody likes traitors on either side. Here we differentiate between Communism, a political system with an unelected central committee, and Socialism, a monetary system where taxes pay for some of the people's needs. Please please tell them to bone up on history and in the meanwhile to stop giving us a bad name.

I love to write, and I love English literature, so I especially don't like the PC police that have taken over English departments as an opportunity to try to indoctrinate the youth. First, it doesn't work and tends to turn them into stark, raving Republicans as soon as they get the grade. Secondly, everybody in America seems to be fucking illiterate right now, so we need to actually teach what we are supposed to teach, and stop promoting grad students to to their own level of incompetence as teachers because of their shade, their perfect recitation of the party line, or their inny or outyness.

Oh, and just plain really really dumb Liberals should have that fact explained to them and asked to keep their stupid gobs shut.

Hmm, I wonder if my Purge the Party article stands up after this much time.