Essentials

You may have heard the term Occam's razor before, probably being used by a Republican. It sounds like some exotic Arabian concept, but what is it, really? It is actually a principle of very limited logical value; furthermore, the Republican who throws the term around to sound brilliant doesn’t usually even understand it well enough to benefit from its limited value.

So, let’s take a look at the real Occam’s razor.

Occam’s razor is used by Republicans as a more impressive-sounding way of saying, “If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s probably a duck.” In other words, it is an appeal to “common sense.” The problem with common sense, however, is that it may be common, but it isn’t always sense. The Republicans also use Occam’s Razor as a way of saying that the simpler of two explanations is usually the better one; however, this assumption is based on theology, aesthetics, and wishful thinking (if those three are not actually one), and, in fact, the guy who came up with the razor was a Franciscan friar in the 14th century named William of Ockham.

Occam's Razor Has some Limited Value in Crafting Scientific Theories

Well, what possible logical value could wishful thinking have? The answer is: None. However, in a limited scientific application, Occam’s razor has some value. In science, as in life, assumptions introduce possibilities that we are wrong. This can be remembered easily by another old truism, "Never assume; im makes an ASS of U M E. So, in a scientific theory, it is better not to introduce assumptions into the theory unless they are necessary. Fewer assumptions = Less errors. This is why it is called a razor. We use it to shave off unnecessary assumptions from a theory if they are not necessary for the theory to function. Fewer assumptions also make the theory easier to test by the scientific community since there is less work to do chasing down the proofs for extraneous assumptions. This is the only logical use for Occam’s razor; however, if there are assumptions in a theory that are not necessary for it to function, well, are those assumptions properly part of the theory at all? Isn't Occam's razor just an aesthetic of scientific culture rather than an actual logical principle? It certainly appears so, but I am not a scientist, so I will leave it to them to decide this question.

Occams Razor is an Appeal to Wishful Antiquated Religious Thought

So, in all cases wherein a non-scientist invokes Occam's razor, it is simply an appeal to wishful antiquated religious thought that originated in a time when nature was thought to be quite simple, which is much different than the reality. Even with the most advanced computers available, it still takes years to map a single genome. Simplicity, though not often a componant of reality, is very attractive to the Republicans because they are not especially patient or thoughtful; however, to assume that things are much simpler than they are is a vice, especially for those in power. One might assume, for instance, "Wow, Saddam Hussein is a brutal dictator, so if we invade, the Iraqis will be happy and want to be just like us. Simple. Don’t listen to those lefty eggheads who warn of a quagmire."

Occam's Razor and the Republican's Long French Kiss with Objectivism

Occam’s razor is embraced by the Republicans for the same reason that Ayn Rand’s “Objectivism” is. The name of this school of philosophy tells you just about everything you need to know about it. They actually think they know what the objective reality is. The wishful thinking, pig-headedness, arrogance, hubris, and simplistic naiveté of this belief is astonishing. That is like starting a philosophy called Truthism! How about I'm-Right-and-You're-Wrongism? Objectivism! *scoff*

In practice, however, the point of Objectivism is that you alone are responsible for your own success or failure. On a personal level, this philosophy is obviously virtuous; however, like mixing Occam’s razor with something like quantum mechanics, it does not take into account the complexity of reality, particularly the reality of large groups like a society.

Take for example a rich, professional, black, Republican woman who hates activists and feminists. I know it sounds funny, but there are such creatures. She thinks she alone lifted herself up by her own bootstraps and became a success. Of course, thirty years ago, she would never have been let into the school she needed to attend to join her profession, and of course her profession would not have allowed her if the feminists and civil rights protesters she sneers at had not opened the door for her.

Instead of walking through the door held open for her with a thank you, she walks through it with a sense of entitlement, a copy of Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged under her arm, and a smirk for the lowlife doorman who must have something wrong with his character to not have a better job. She alone is responsible for her success. The right's understanding of bjectivism also basically states that anything unregulated Capitalism produces is good. It is just the way of the world, and our job is to adjust to it. If we globalize a few million Americans out of jobs, and they end up out on the street because their jobs have gone overseas, and they commit suicide, turn into alcoholics because their wives left them with the kids, or go on shooting sprees, that is their fault for not getting another job. The Objectivist says, "Get a job!" It's not their problem if there are no jobs. All this human cost is just a necessary correction for them, not an evil. It is inevitable that people get hurt. It will all work out for the best, because, see, whatever unregulated capitalism produces is good. Even greed is good, since it is what we harness to make our society competetive. Well, Americans have always accepted that greed should be harnessed to drive the market, but the Objectivists believe that greed itself is good. Think of the Michael Douglas role in the movie Wall Street, and you have the quintessential Objectivist. The objectivist actually believes this slime is the hero of the movie. Human beings, on the other hand, understand that he is just a slime, but to the Objectivist, no matter what happens, as long as there is no regulation, taxation, or any other responsibe element of living in a decent society, we are always living in the best of all possible worlds.

Occam's Razor Very Convenient for the Rich

Needless to say, Objectivists are all successful people, not because Objectivism makes them rich, but because anyone who has devoted his life to an industry that has been whisked away overseas to take advantage of dirt cheap labor and no environmental laws and has not been provided with opportunities for retraining or further education or is just too old, knows that sometimes bad things happen to good people. Good Americans understand that, too, but the objectivist immediately blames the victim for not being fast enough on his feet, even if the poor slob is 57, has one foot in the grave, and has never done anything but work the line at an auto plant.

But it is hilarious to watch the Objectivist immediatly reform as soon as he is the victim of circumstance. Recently, I complained to an Objectivist I knew that I could not find a good academic job. He replied I should get a different kind of job, then. Basically, eat cake. This pissed me off royally. Not a few months later Katrina destroyed his home. I told him, well, just buy a new one then! Don't expect me to pay for your home with any Commie Socialist disaster relief funds!

Competition and Capitalism are great things, and they work wonders, but there need to be rules, and a government to govern the competition, because they have no innate values other than wanting a higher quarterly profit report. Take away the refs, and the football game becomes war. "Not so," says the objectivist. Whatever capitalism does is Jim Dandy. As we see, Objectivism works just fine if you ignore enough information (and enough pain), and there will always be the selfish rich Republicans to ignore them. The value of self-reliance is a virtue, but it is entirely different from Objectivism.

Occam's Razor Makes Things Simple - That's Why They Love It!

As we also see, the common denominator in the right’s embrace of Objectivism and its long French kiss with Occam’s razor is none other than simplicity. Simplicity is the Achilles heel of Republicanism. It is just so tempting and easy! But, sooner or later, it turns out that people who embrace simplicity to this degree are just simpletons.

Talk back.