Essentials

Well, it looks like Ted Nugent did dodge the draft according to an article in the Detroit Free Press. In it, he says he pooped and pissed his pants for a month, and then went in to the draft board. Here is an article that explains things and presents a document that shows Nugent failed his physical, which would tend to back up what he claimed in the Detroit Free Press article. I don't know if the document has been authenticated by anyone. Nugent also had a student deferment during most of the time he was playing about 300 shows a year. I wonder how he found time to study? One Internet forum user also brought up how on the cover of one of the Amboy Dukes albums, there was a lot of drug paraphernalia, but when Nugent went Republican, he claimed he didn't know what it was when asked if he had ever advocated drug use. Yep, it looks like he's just another Neocon hypocrite.

Now, this would all be okay with me. I don't mind people refusing to fight immoral wars. If it was WWII, that would be different, but people were lining up to fight that one because it was a pretty good fight. It would have been okay if he had not strutted around stage with machine guns telling Obama to suck on them and calling Hilary Clinton a "bitch." But, now, sorry, Nuge, but the world has to know you are a draft-dodging, chickenhawk, neocon punk. Here are some other reasons he is a coward.

Ted Nugent is a Coward Because...

1. The Motor City Madman just loves to kill defenseless animals. Of course, he claimed to have killed some dangerous ones with just a knife. Yeah, right. I think he's just a gun nut.

2. He plays guitars that don't fight back. Yeah, I have played the Gibson Birdland, and it has a SHORT scale, which means it is SHORT and has a VERY THIN NECK, making it SUPER EASY TO PLAY, kind of like TRAINING WHEELS but in guitar form. I have no idea about the following, but I would bet because Nuge is such a secret PUSSY that he uses PUSSY STRINGS like Super Slinky 8s.

3. When I try to post anything like the above on his forums at his Website, he's hired people to work into the night immediately deleting them because TED NUGENT CAN DISH IT OUT BUT HE CAN'T TAKE IT. The next day, I got an email from his daughter, Sasha Nugent, telling me I was wrong, etc. I can't believe THE BIG TOUGH GUY HIDES BEHIND HIS DAUGHTER'S SKIRTS. HE'S LITERALLY USING HER FOR A HUMAN SHIELD TO GET BETWEEN HIM AND THOSE BAD LIBERALS WHO HUWT HIS WITTLE FEEWINGS.

Ted, you're just a little bitch who compensates for his small guitar size with big machine guns, but, Ted, I don't need a machine gun. All I need is one shot to deal with your scrawny ass. New Orleans REPRESENT! We kill more motherfuckers every year with guns than Detroit ever did.